Update

So, I haven't updated in like a month =]. Coolio.

I filmed a video to post as an update, but I'm not interested in finishing it in Germany. I only have a few days left, and would much rather do something other than working that video... my boyfriend also came back from America recently. It's amazing with him ^^. I had a going away party, and well... I'm going to be back in Arizona soon.

But is Arizona ready for me? After all, I changed so much... but am I really ready for Arizona? After all, I changed so much, and will have to reconcile that with my earlier life. The wonderful thing about an exchange year, is that the host community doesn't know anything about you, so you get the freedom to be who you truly are, because they don't judge you on your past actions (because they don't know what your past actions are!). I'm a different person. But now this different person will go back to America, and be confronted again with people that can judge her based on her past actions, and who will expect her to be what she was, and not what she is.

What will happen?

At the recent Berlin Seminar for my exchange program, one of the language teachers told me that he always saw me walking around with my backpack, and always wondered why I always had that backpack on... he thought I was ready to bolt in the next few seconds. But now he can see I've changed. He said I've really become a personality. And he hopes I don't regress to who I was when I go back home.

That's really the beauty of a year in a foreign country. In the first half year you really change, but none of these changes are permanent. If you went back home at the end of that half year, then you would be the same person you always were after a while. But in the last half year these changes become the foundations of who you are. That is my experience at least. And if my foundations will change when I'm back in America? Of course they will. It would be sad if they never changed again, because you can't grow without change... but will I be growing, or will I be shriveling back into the person I was, and essentially undoing my growth?

What will I do?

I will tell you.

I will turn into a beautiful Caitlin flower.

Not Really an Update!

Ok, so this isn't really an update, but you should be expecting an update! I got a wonderful idea last night, and I'm going to try to make it work, but it will take a lot of work to make it work!

(Hint: expect to get a video/youtube update ;) )